Kshitij Review….From the Mango Student

Hope is a good thing and No good thing ever dies…

I know this review is not needed, I know everyone advised against it. I know I should have followed their advice for once, but I did not. It was a 34 hour journey back home, 8 hours via bus with a fat guy snoring as loudly as he possibly can and the remaining 26 in the train….

I love trains, no other mode of transportation gives you an idea of how diverse our country is, and add to it the visual treat of farmers ploughing, rainfall, lush green low altitude hills of the Eastern Ghats, the flora and fauna of our amazing country. But the primary reason, if you are lucky enough to have a sexy female single co passenger, you get to spend more time with her than in any other form of transportation…and as we all know…the best love stories in Bollywood have always had trains play a major part in them, so I just keep hoping, till now, my co passengers have included obnoxious oldies, ugly ladies and struggling jobless male dressed up in torn jeans and transparent shirts….but then as Andy Duffresne in Shawshank Redemption says “Hope is a good thing and No good thing ever dies”. And I stick to that.

This time as usual, I had a weird newly married couple, with the husband being overtly caring and the wife (who throughout had her dupatta around her face Osama style) couldn’t care less about her hubby, and add to that a couple of middle age women whose depth of conversation started and ended with whose husband dated who in Ekta Kapoor’s serial, with not much to look at or not much to hear, I thought, “Come on!!! Kshitij can’t be that bad….the cover seemed cool enough”…and thus started the worst 9 hours of the whole semester (mainly because once I start a book/magazine…I just have to finish it)…..I started from the back….I mean the back pages of the book….I mean it contained these interviews of the people behind the Making Of Magazine….something like the Directors Cut we see in movies…and needless to say it was elaborated to such an extent that it went over the top…Guys it’s just a magazine, don’t make it seem like you beat Quentin Tarantino’s effort at making Inglorious Basterds….The over-the-top and totally page consuming unnecessary stuff continued, and yes I slept in between, so all in all the last section took me three hours to complete…..

Now Move on to the Disaster Section….The photographs, One branch was missing, but I guess you already know about it, what is astonishing is that they decided to put nicknames beneath the names, and they aren’t even there for everybody….just imagine Mr. X, who passed out of MIT this year, keeps this as a memoir and one day some 20 odd years later, his kid gets hold of this unholy magazine and asks him…”Papa, you did not have a nickname…were u a loner??”….I would have understood this if it were with one or two people but our excellence The Editorial Board, may be in the hurry to get this done with and race after the GPA’s…thought who the fuck cares what their nicknames were, just print whatever you have….as a result, a clear bias emanates out from the photographs…. not on color, creed, caste or sex…but on the whims of our respected and highly acclaimed Editorial Board. Now the group photographs….I still can’t figure out whether they could not afford a good camera or deliberately spoilt it to give it a time worn look, but the end result looks horrific, the guys at the back row are invisible…thank God the girls came in at the front….
Now the staff section, now one would expect that the Editorial Board would at least take care while printing the photographs of the faculty. I can’t speak for other branches, but I can speak for EnC… And Dear Editorial Board, there is no teacher called Aarma U in Enc…she is Aparna U, and this in spite of having a 3rd year EnC student on the board….

After that one loses interests….the photographs are either mostly of the editorial posing as Ocean’s Eleven, Pirates of the Caribbean Cast, The Reservoir Dogs and finally a few photographs with artificial expression…I mean seriously, MIT girls have better pictures on Facebook. You could have just taken them out of there….The jokes are stale, the article about how to recognize a first year, was published on Facebook 12 months ago….and I would personally like to go and slaughter the guy who published “How to scare your room mate”….Dude/Dudette…did you borrow that joke from Darsheel while he was being dyslexic?? This is an engineering college…with adults…at least make the fun real….and the jokes original….After this I threw the magazine….when I reopened it a day later….I realized that all was not bad….the art section was really nice, kudos to the people who drew those masterpieces…those were eye candies….but that’s about it…

MIT….the college which shares its initial with one of the best technical colleges in the world….the college with the maximum number of eye candies and booze shops…the college with coolest people…and yet a bunch of dim witted nerds clothed in formals blotted its image…not in front the world (who in the whole wide world would read this shit anyways), but in the eyes of its own people, the seniors who left and the people who are left behind wondering “would it hurt my image..if i appear in such crap”….these people took the coolness of the 7000 MITians and crucified it within hushed doors…

And the best part is….there seems to be a wave of gratitude sweeping through the book….everybody thanks everybody else for everything and an innocent reader is left wondering “WHY?”…..

Take a better look at these people, they are the future Vikram Bhatts and the Ram Gopal Varmas of the world….That’s it for now…

PS: To the Editorial Board….it wasn’t like, someone made a prophecy that you guys have to publish the magazine….It wasn’t even like you were the Chosen Ones like Harry Potter or something…if you couldn’t handle it…you could have just given up right?? No harm in that…..not every soldier who does not want to fight is considered a coward…some of them become cowards with MBA’s and degrees!!!!

Finally, a personal thank you for posting the World Cup Poster…that was cool…unfortunately that was the only thing that was cool in that monstrosity of shittinesss…..

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