“I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have I am very close to. For some reason I feel threatened when they see other people. I’m trying to figure out if I’m just jealous that they have more friends than I do, or if I’m genuinely afraid they’re going to like their other friends more than me…”
Have you ever been possessive? Do you feel you have unresolved issues? Are you afraid to let go, because of past disappointments? If this is you, then you are possessive and you can’t do without your best friend.
Friendship, at times, can bring about the most awkward moments, especially when you’re someone who feels threatened about losing your best friend. This may either be because you’re not close to anyone except this one friend, or because you have a constant fear of losing loved ones. Whatever be the case, possessiveness can ruin relationships, especially friendship.
It’s easy to want to be someone’s everything, and to not want to share them with others. It’s hard to watch a friend’s relationships with other people grow, and not want the same for yourself. Or better, perhaps. It’s important to remember that your relationship with your friend is your own, and no one can take that and your history together away from you (except you, of course).
It’s always exciting and easy to be enthralled with someone new. They fill a void which maybe we didn’t know was there. As time wears on, these new people become either comfortable existences or they wear out and aren’t so amazing or exciting anymore. Let this happen. Let everything happen. We can’t (and shouldn’t) try to change what our friends do, feel, or want. We can only be there for them, no matter the distance between us, and be true to them and ourselves. The key is instead of bashing your friend for forming a new friendship, let him/her know that you would like to hang out more. Instead of being overly possessive of him/her, create something that only the two of you can share, like: weekly trips to the gym, movie nights on Thursday, or lunch every other Monday.
No one can take a friend away, but it is possible to push one away. Don’t do something (or anything) to do that. Try not to be clingy. Give your best buddy a little space, or else, you might just end up ruining it for the two of you.
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been there, done that…!