|The underground chamber at Kamath Circle
from where the valuables in the form of
vintage wine and beer bottles are being moved to an
In a shocking revelation yesterday, MBI (Manipal Beer-au of Investigation) has revealed that crores worth of beer and wine have been unearthed from Kamath Circle. Though the exact amount can’t yet be estimated, sources say that this may not only raise the bar (pun unintended) on Manipal’s drinking threshold, but also bring down drastically the sales in DeeTee and Tee-Spirits.
“We were all employed to bring down the Kamath Circle Wall a few days ago. But even after we brought it down, we continued digging, since we were on a high, and we were hoping that we find some archaeological artefacts underground. We were quite overwhelmed when we started smelling alcohol. I thought it was just my hallucinations, because I was planning to go to Cox and Mox that night. I went and called the guy sitting at KC ATM to check if what I found was true, he confirmed the fact.”, hence narrates Bangarappa, the inebriated worker who hit the jackpot.
“Why hasn’t the University brought this to the notice of students earlier?” questions an angry Shiva Balath, who felt that the beer should have been distributed in free to the Food Court people with immediate effect. “The findings are very important to the University and its members, and the students should realize it’s value. How can they expect us to give for free, such a demanded commodity” explained Gag KrumKum.
On asking about what the University plans to do, Gag Krum Kum also expressed the desire to open an official bar, which distributes Beer at a nominal rate, “Since, it was unearthed at KC, the treasure belongs to the University, we can do anything official ith it, heck, even drink it, I say!”
On the other side, the Doberman community, along with Bangarappa stand united in claiming their precious lot. “Illaaa! Finders keepers, loosers weepers, you don’t know this much-aa? We found it and we have the right to drink it, even if it means imbalancing the alcohol related economy of Manipal”.
|A student expressing his refusal to give away
The students however, show solidarity. “I have even opened a Facebook page for the cause, please support it by ‘liking’ it” says Tovik Marmar a sudent of MLSC.
The Facebook page titled ‘My name is beer and I am for students’ has already received 11700 likes. This is more than the estimated student population of Manipal, suggesting this is a very sensitive issue. There are already talks within the admnistration to hand over the case to the Central Excise Ministry as this has the potential to be the largest ever discovery of Alcohol, surpassing even the wildest dreams.Developments are awaited as to the impact and future direction of the story.
P.S: All the facts and names in this article are made up, but you already knew that Didn’t you?
The author was NOT in a normal state, and no cats, dogs or Dobermen were harmed in the writing of this article. Images from the hindu newspaper and funni.desivalley.com