All the books in the world, lectures, and podcasts in the world will definitely better you as a person and teach you all the things you yearn to know. But some things about life you need to learn on your own. Some things not a lot of people talk about. Some things you don’t listen to often. Some things you are never asked to write a paper on. Some things you don’t think about often. Some things that you need to know. Need to learn. Need to know.
Some things that help you see the world more clearly.
I will start then:
Nothing About Life is fair
Brutal, I know. But if you think about it, it is comforting. There is a certain peace in knowing that life is not fair; it is not all unicorns and fairy dust. The earlier you learn and understand that life isn’t easy, it isn’t fair, the better you get at dealing with it. Mark Manson wrote,
‘“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”’
And it is true. Once you start believing that life takes you on many downs, only then do you truly enjoy the ups. And when it takes you to a low again, you know there will be a high again, too.
Nothing lasts forever
Yes, yes, I hear you. You’ve heard of this a lot of times. But how many times have you believed it? How many times have you truly understood that it will all be over?
Knowing that nothing lasts forever will help you get through the times you feel not-so-awesome in a healthy way. Because you won’t remember that one time you slipped in front of your crush, you won’t feel sad about your best friend moving to a different city always, you won’t hold onto things you need to let go of.
You will be happy again; you will feel the sunshine dance on your skin, too. And maybe you will live a little more every day because nothing about life lasts forever.
Letting go is important.
I talked about letting go above. Sometimes, the majority of us don’t understand how essential letting go is. Sometimes, some things seem so imperative at a certain point in your life that the idea about life without them seems impossible. But for how long? For how long will it be important to you?
What if you grasp it so tightly that your hands start to ache? Do you still hold onto it? NO. No, you do not. You need to understand this very well. You know when you need to let go of something. Or someone. Your mind understands what is bringing chaos to your life.
You just need to act on it. You just need to go ahead and do it. You need to just let go.
It feels like I am just listing out the most cliched advice you’ve heard one by one. Is it a cliche because many people have talked about it? Or is it a cliche because many people have talked about it, but they forget to actually do it? Either way, the point right now is to be yourself.
Many times in life, you feel the need to fit in, the need to change yourself. Wanting to change yourself is lovely; it is improvement, growth. What matters is the motive behind it. Do you want to change yourself because your partner thinks you should? Or because otherwise, the cool kids won’t let you eat with them?
Be yourself; you will attract the people who are meant for you, raw and pure.
Get to know yourself.
Have you ever played a game of 20 Questions with yourself? Do you know what makes you happy? What feeds your soul? What is your perfect day? You won’t question yourself, your abilities, potential, and caliber if you genuinely know what you are capable of. You won’t really let others’ opinions pull you down because you know what you are; you are aware of yourself.
You learn the things about yourself, the good and the bad. You try improving the good; you try correcting the bad. You grow as a person just by simply taking the time to get to know yourself.
Life is not fair, people are not always fair, situations are not always reasonable. The world is unpleasant, sometimes. But would you let that get to you? You should try not to. I am aware that sometimes being a good person takes a lot of effort. Being kind can be tough. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying.
As Taylor Swift says, ‘No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.’ Once you start showing kindness, day by day, person by person, you will find it much easier to be good and kind. And do you know? You reap what you sow; you emanate kindness, you will receive it, too.
You are enough
No matter how tough things might be, how lost you feel, and how clueless you feel, you must remember you have yourself. You have yourself for all the highs and lows. And you are so enough. You are your own army, standing tall and strong, always.
Okay, maybe not always. Nevertheless, you have yourself, and somehow that is enough. You are enough. That is all I will tell you.
Trust me when I say this, once you know and believe the things I just went on and on about, you will be able to deal with life a lot easier. Deal? You will not just deal with life; you will actually enjoy living. Of course, it takes time to cultivate these things into your life. It takes patience and effort. But for now, just knowing it is enough. Eventually, you will find yourself actually doing it. And for that, I am so happy for you.