Unlucky draw

girl wearing grey long-sleeved shirt using MacBook Pro on brown wooden table
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

assignmentI am not really sure whether I was breathing at all. I must have told this countless times to people how your life flashes before your eyes when you are so sure about the irrefutable apocalypse about to dawn on you… but the truth is you don’t see anything at all .. you just feel like you are not alive, and the transition is already taking place. You are just blank. Don’t feel attached anymore. My name was called, and I got up.

As I covered the most challenging journey of all time, what pierced me the most was that there was no hope. There was no denial. Truth, as pure as it could be, had been absorbed by the holes in my brain. With eyes staring at me, I could sense their feelings as if they were connected to me. Some still had hope for a better future, but most were empty- The feeling of being and no more. When everything is sucked into just being. No questions, no emotions, nothing.

I picked up the chit from the “unlucky draw.” It was 5. Usually, I would have made up really silly excuses for it to be my lucky number, like I got 5 fingers, I was in 5th standard when I passed 4th, I can pick out the best 5 friends in my life, I wrote a post on world’s top 5 weird animals, five starts from F, and so does Facebook and F*ck but I didn’t. I just gave up. I just accepted my reality like nothing before and just let go. He smiled and said, “Your guide for the project will be Professor Neeraj.”


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