The ByeBye Car – A Car That gives Negative Mileage

My ByeBye Savari got service done day before yesterday. I took it to the mechanic because it had started giving me negative miles per millilitre of diesel consumption. You see, ByeBye Savari is a car (supposedly) made by ByeBye Supposedly Motors which is a part of a big Indian conglomerate ByeBye Daughters. The quality of all their products is “very good” because the company follows the minus six sigma process. For people who are not familiar with the minus six sigma process, it is a process which ensures that out of every 7 things manufactured 6 are bad.

My Savari was giving negative mileage. If you are wondering how a car (supposedly) gives negative mileage, you have to take ride in my Savari. For e.g. day before yesterday I left for the office in my Savari and it started making weird noises. I had to take it to the fixer. It was further away from office from where I started. Negative mileage.

Tata Safari

The fixer is a person who knows everything. I sometime wonder that all of us are seeking the greatest truth and GOD but have missed the fixer in our endeavors. The car fixer is the GOD. He knows everything.

As soon as he saw my Savari he said, Rs 2756543, which was right. It was the right amount to get my car fix. Just to indulge me he explained why it cost so little to fix everything:-

  •   Savari has a loose nut in the bonnet which needs to loosened further Savari has a broken shanty which can make the gear shaft clutch the engine head in a vice like grip which needs to be addressed with love
  • Engine oil needed to be replaced with fragrant axle head massage oil so that the rotating wheels would feel relaxed and move about without any tension

He gave 76 more such things which needed to be done. I think anyone who has so much knowledge has to be GOD. Since I am no one to argue with GOD, I wrote the cheque out to him fully trusting that he will deliver the Savari on the promised day, which was yesterday. Of-course, he did not but it is okay as he was involved in festivities and immersions. As soon as he started working on my Savari, someone would come and pick him up, take him to Gandipet lake and dump him there shouting slogans.

I understand his problem.
He delivered my Savari today.
Now my Savari is back to it’s normal way of working. It is giving me 20 KM per 350000 litres of diesel. All is well.

TATA till next time.

About the Author: Ashwini Mathur is a resident of Hyderabad. In the past he has worked at GSK Pharmaceuticals as a Senior General Manager and at Novartis after that. He has a Master’s degree in Mathematics from IIT Delhi, a PhD in bio-statistics from University and College Berkeley, California and an executive MBA from IIM Bangalore.

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