Naughty At 40 Or No-Tea At 40?

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One fine morning, I admired myself in the mirror – “mirror mirror on the wall”….. Mirror stops me. Sshh. “you are touching 40 and not eligible to complete the question”. But, err I was aghast.  But I am just touching 40. Yeah, my buts finally redirected my attention to the “Butt“. Most problems begin with butt and continue on the but. Especially for we women.

We women have mastered the  fabulous art of how to get fat. At 40, anybody can get fat.  “But” I was beginning to plot a master plan, something unique apart from discarding my roly-poly figure like an effigy.  Why not attempt being naughty at 40. I must date a boy friend. I would surely find some “cool dude” in my very own Manipal. It was demanding task though. For that I should start looking like Dimple Kapadia or Karishma Kapoor at least. I couldn’t possible think  of Deepika Padukone. I am a vintage model though.  What a treacherous pain it was. I ended my search long before it even began.

These Fairy tales dupe you. Neither do all dreams come true nor does a Cinderella miracle happen.  I can’t see a boy friend! Any way, I do not have the right to even see at all! I can barely find my misplaced spectacles without wearing one.  And my  teeth! – Every year, I see the dentist more than my family.  Who could possibly understand my state of shock when the  young dentist  addressed me as “auntie”. She just nuked my marvelous plans throwing them into smoke.

Last month, I tried para gliding on sea-shore. My husband is such a down to earth person, he dint join me. As the guide gave me lessons on safety before he sent me flying high up in the air, he instructed ”auntie don’t bend back, bend towards the front, for balance”. Auntie?  This was heights. The ghostly vocabulary our folks use for such glamorous sweet women haunted me everywhere.

I decided to abandon my naughty at 40 mantra. It is not my cup of coffee. Please do not mind my hijacking the English language and the idioms to the South India. I am a filter kaapi (Coffee in native kannada language) lover forever. Honestly, it was time to say no-tea/coffee after my blood and cholesterol reports came in. Also reading the big report full of graphs and different types of lines produced at the cardiologist at Manipal KM Hospital was beyond my understanding. I took a few seconds to hold it right way. I needed to come back to reality and pinch myself.

In fact it is not a ideal time to get naughty but the time ticks on with more of NO for you. Especially for a woman, a mother, wife, a housekeeper that multitask juggling a number of tasks, who hardly has any time for a long shower, or even a morning coffee sitting on a couch. That’s a luxury because you are all around the kitchen packing dozens of multicoloured Tupper-ware boxes full of food for the husband and kids. It consists of a whole meal in south Indian style. Starting from Idlis and sambar to lunch that includes pickle to desserts and not to forget a big box of fruits.

Have any of you felt this, when we were in school and our parents turned forty, they looked so old. Huh. Surely we were silly then? Because when the reality draws up on you have started noticing the creases on your face in the mirror. And soon they would turn into groves too. No, shouts your mind. Not every commercial of any colourful tubes of creams have ever satisfied an aging women. Mind you. I have tried several. Each time someone exclaims you “Hey don’t look old” only I know, what a rut it created in my dream way.  And my mirror tells me the truth. You stretch yourself close to the mirror, yank your cheeks and you know the bitter truth. Yeah.

If you have a teenager at home. That’s another mirror for you. She will steal and rob your tops from your wardrobe, even the lipsticks and gels and end of the day be a lovely critic with sweet suggestion pills like “amma you should try that blue gown, that ones suit YOU more”. There was so much mystery in that YOU here. I am the same. So why shouldn’t I wear those attires that I wore five years ago?

Remember, being forty has a horrifying beauty in its own as you feel you have added experience with wisdom but with additional package of wrinkles and permanent crinkle.

There are horrid times when I have age spirit cast spell on me. Wherein I almost forget names of people or places. It lasts for few seconds. My sister who is a doctor convinced me it’s because of age. “Age”. This went echoing in my heart so badly. What does it mean, that I am already aged? Or am I aging?  or wait I’m growing too old?

Now that I am aged, I will definitely stop scowling and furrowing my brows. Wait, folks, then there is so much life left. Who is bothered about the mirrors after all. When life offers you lemons, grab some tequila. 40 or 60. Go get your backpack, go hiking, running marathon or paragliding. What’s in a age? Just some wrinkles. We can get over it and plan a Madhuri Dixit number after this Dandiya of the Navaratri. “Ek Do Teen…aja sanam aja bahar”..

Your external beauty was only a illusion that lifted your spirits up. Feeling beautiful was the duty of your knowledge hungry brains and your love hungry heart.

Falling in love with your inner self, falling in love with life is all that makes our journey from this earth to the portion below it, a really worthy one. Let’s rock even at for-tea.

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