Little girl: So mommy, am I a princess? (Completely normal)
Mommy: Yes baby! You are the worlds’ most beautiful princess! (Ok. She is small, once should not be rude)
Little girl: (giggles) Okay. Where is my prince? (Normal once again)
Now, mommies should realize that a child’s imagination in his/her formative years plays a decisive role in the personality build up and their expectations from life.
What a mommy should reply to the above question is this: “Oh baby! Princes are only in story books. You too will have a prince dear but that is different from story books.” Then hug her and put her to sleep.
But we don’t live in a utopia do we?
Here is when everything goes wrong: “Yes my dear! One day a handsome charming prince will come on a horse and take you away in his strong arms and then you will live happily ever after.”
This might be a small event or incidence in every household but for a child it is the first impression of a life partner. This nonexistent prince charming has not only ruined the lives of many girls but also made us men practically incapable of fulfilling the unrealistic expectations of some women.
Indian men, the term itself is completely unjustified. There are millions of men in this vast country. To generalize them in one go is like referring to Indian women in their stereotyped roles which have been wrongfully set up in this country. Now a set of misconceptions about Indian men which every girl/woman must go through:
1.) Indian men are chauvinistic pigs: I have heard this sentence in more than one occasion courtesy: pseudo feminists and the media which hypes these statements. Living in rural India will give the foreigner an idea of the condition of women. Men naturally assume that they are better at everything than women. When it comes to cooking, it is considered as an insult for men in rural India. Women are subjected to domestic violence at times and for other atrocities we have a star vigilante who is doing everything in his power to defame the Indian man. But no one cares about the not-so-stereotypical stories.
I am from a small city. Things are not the same as it is shown in the idiot box. A man giving his complete salary to his wife is very common in my area. Women work, drive, hang out with other working women and live a completely normal life which is contradictory to the idea of male dominance. My own mother is an English professor and I can give you countless examples of such women in my own city who lead a happy life with full support of their better half which are very much INDIAN.
2.) The three H’s: Another stereotype which does the rounds amongst women is the three H’s. Hygiene, hair and horrible habits. Now when it comes to hygiene I want to make it clear that hygiene doesn’t have anything to do with the looks. If you are a girl/woman from urban area please go out with urban men and vice versa. If you consider the bus conductor as an example of how unhygienic Indian men are then I would suggest you to have a look on the maid of the house as well. Truly educated men know how to carry themselves, no matter which part of the world. Now as far as the horrible habits go, I will agree that many men, even from the well educated families may display several acts or habits which are not exactly textbook good manners but then again do not jump to conclusions. Once a man is aware of the habit he will never do that on purpose. And with the disastrous hairstyles some girls go for these days, don’t even get me started on the hair.
3.) Indian men have major ego issues: Like any other competitive man, I do not like to lose. If I do, I try to win the next time and this goes on. This is a very healthy attitude in the world we live and extra generosity towards the winning party is nothing but foolishness or buttering. Many times the opponent is a female. The attitude of any competitive man would be to win and that is the way it should be. The expression, facial or verbal, after losing against a woman is HIGHLY hyped. The sentence of ‘ladki se haar gaya’ should be understood. It is not the person who lost and is disappointed who is a sexist but it’s the person who says the above line. Winning or losing, be it in the field of academics, extra-curricular activities or even arguments in a relationship are very natural and it should be respected without involving the sex or race for that matter.
The point of writing this article is very simple: Do not generalize.
Indian men, American men or African men, the only difference is the culture. Any woman who expects men out of Mills and Boons is living under an illusion which is very painful when it breaks. Every human is different. No two people are same. If you fail to understand this, you are not intellectually capable of understanding the human nature which is a pre-requisite of living a happy life.