I have lost the gift-the gift of god – to express, to write my heart out, to fill the paper with multitude of words. I have become a redundant writer. I realized this in the morning today when I wasn’t elated at the sight of a blank writing pad and a bottle of Boheme L’aime Rose-scented ink. It was far from the punch I got when I looked upon the untainted word document on my PC. I could not imagine black and white words typed all across the document. Was the myth true-of a possible writer’s block?
Was I diagnosed of such a disease? How did this dreaded syndrome infect me?
My mind I understand is filled with a lot of drivel. I became a defunct sponge-couldn’t absorb my surroundings and I couldn’t recap. I reminisced the days with nostalgia when I was a closet poet-when I was overjoyed with a new-fangled coherent stanza. I remembered the days when I would be ecstatic when I found a worthy audience for my creative writings. I savored the times when my writings were published in the press, where anonymous readers would swoon over my writing flair.
I think I need to pause and review my thoughts for a millisecond. It seems as if I am waiting for a Big Bang, some life altering phenomena or the poison to turn into nectar, the low tide to turn into high and relieve me of the sting that my muscles and marrow live with-sun up and sun down.
I never felt this before-I have been born self-believer. A pragmatic soul, who operated like a busy bee everyday, who did everything for a reason that would irrevocably affect present life. I have acquired a new power when I believe that I cannot stop in the middle of a long road. I have so much to accomplish for the future, if I stop working hard, someone will grab my place in the musical chairs of life.
Suddenly I feel I have come to know myself better today.
Yes, I am human when I get swept away by emotions and a better one when I concretize the fuzz in my mind. I feel much self-assured when I work out the “haze”.
The best part is it’s all coming back to me, don’t believe me?
Check out the stuff I just wrote above!