It is so hot in Hyderabad that . . .

1. People do not have cold feet anymore. Suddenly the productivity all around has increased.
2. Thermometers have given up measuring temperatures and now they are used for measuring cloth cuttings for stitching salwar kameez.
3. Mercury has stopped rising and is now protesting in an uprising at Hussain Sagar.
4. All lakes have melted and are disappearing.
5. Post-menopausal men have started getting cold flashes. Rest of the men are aspiring for these cold flashes.
6. Hot item numbers in movies have been replaced by Nutan scenes because crying cools you down.
7. Ice, ACs and coolers are refusing to work and are saying “what is the point?”
8. Fever is scared of the competition given by the weather and has declared that it will return only when it turns cooler.
9. Hot chai and samosas have become torture devices.
10. Roads have started melting which in general is not a big problem if your car has oars, otherwise folks in Hyderabad need to learn swimming in melted tar.
11. Doorknobs have started melting and many households, companies, government organizations to tackle the issue have banned doors.
12. The word “hot” is banned and has been replaced by “Katrina”.

It has finally dawned on people, that, Hot is not Cool.

About the Author: Ashwini Mathur is a resident of Hyderabad. In the past he has worked at GSK Pharmaceuticals as a Senior General Manager and at Novartis after that. He has a Master’s degree in Mathematics from IIT Delhi, a PhD in bio-statistics from University and College Berkeley, California and an executive MBA from IIM Bangalore.