Getting Over Anger and Having More Joy in Your Life

woman sitting on bed with flying books
Photo by Lacie Slezak

The worst possible thing you can do when you feel angry is to bury your feelings and never get back to them. These angry feelings can actually manifest as physical disease later on if not dealt with. I know getting over anger is very hard. I have been through some tough times in my life and have been used by family members, clients, or friends, and the feeling of anger and betrayal were hard to deal with. In the end, all it did was make me sick and depressed and out of sorts.

I had to learn steps to help heal myself and know that you can take these same steps to alleviate anger at the moment and deal with it wisely.

First of all, when you feel yourself getting angry at something that has been said to you, stop and breathe deeply seven times. This practice will help center you so you can think with clarity and focus. No one who gets angry and worries can see clearly. The mind becomes blurred with rage.

Develop an armadillo’s back when it comes to criticism. Many people are oversensitive to criticism, so if you’ve had difficulty with this area, you’re not alone. Oversensitivity to criticism holds you back in life, so developing a more robust foundation is imperative. I know I used to be oversensitive, and again it was something I had to learn to deal with and understand that those who were trying to help were not trying to hurt me once I learned that life was much more relaxed.

Folks who have done great things have performed their work in their own individual way, totally unconscious of other’s opinions. They weren’t affected by flattery or barbs. These people were guided by their own conscience and passion in life.

Honestly, for the most part, you should be better able to judge yourself than anyone else. Others can’t really know your temperament or your mind. So decide that your opinion counts more than others’ and let go of that nagging feeling that you need to have everyone approve of who you are and what you do.

Another issue that tends to provoke anger is if we feel overlooked or under praised. To take control of this area in life, decide not to care one whit about another’s praise of you or your performance. Bottom line – you are capable of praising yourself and determining whether you have accomplished all you should.

Finally, you can proactively deal with the tendency to anger by stopping the habit of complaining. This can take a few months but is worth the benefits. By not complaining, you put yourself in a better place to focus on your passion in life.

All these steps will help you learn to deal with anger and assist you in the right direction of getting over anger. If you are like me, though, it has taken years for this to take effect on your life; so give yourself time to change your mind-set.

Feeling angry all the time didn’t happen overnight, just like learning to deal with your anger won’t happen overnight. Give yourself some slack, just be more aware of why you are outraged and write it down to get it off your chest and help you be better able to move on with your life and have more peace and joy daily.

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