Breaking News: Departments to collect the data of FAGs in College – MIT Joint Director

A T-Shirt designed by a resourceful FAG, who frequently writes for ManipalBlog, to cash in on the latest controversy.

In what could go down as a ground breaking development, MIT Joint Director ordered all the departments to furnish the details of FAGS‘ by Monday positively. The move comes in the wake of complaints received by him from various departments about poor attendance.

Talking to our correspondent,he said, “In every meeting of mine with HODs, they complain about students coming late to the class and low attendance,especially in the ‘core branches’. Our policy on attendance is not sufficient to deter those students from doing so. It’s high time I put a check to this practice. So,first we will collect the data on FAGS.”

College is for FAGS
A T-Shirt designed by a resourceful FAG, who frequently writes for ManipalBlog, to cash in on the latest controversy.

Asked what action he would take after procuring the data,he said, “After we have data on them, I’d constitute a special squad comprising faculty members and ask them to keep a tab on FAGS. This includes surprise visits to their rooms anytime and  also monitoring their activities outside the campus. If they are found to be doing ‘strange and useless’ things without attending classes,then we’d inform their parents and suspend them from college.”

Not surprisingly,this move has outraged the FAGS in the campus. “WTF!!!They come to our rooms anytime to see what we are doing? This is infringement of privacy. I will talk to other FAGS and see if we can bring injunction against this order,” fumed a FAG from one of the core branches who requested anonymity.

On asking what exactly does the term FAG mean and whether the college has gone too far this time, unconfirmed sources, which included a 9 Pointer and a gold medalist for attendance,  informed us that FAG is slang for “Frequently Absent Guys” and the college is well within it’s right to take this drastic measure!

Meanwhile ManipalBlog has learnt from reliable FAGs that  there might be disruption of the classes from Monday till the new order is rescinded. Backdoor negotiations are still going on.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?

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