Are you single ?

After many fu*ked relationships, I have finally decided I will make the details of my expectations public. So before you fall in love in love with me and cry your life out, lets just see if you fill in the criteria for a stable relationship.

1. I want her to be super arrogant. So much annoying that I feel intimidated.
2. Every once in a while she should loose her temper,shout and blame everything on me and give me no reason whatsoever to pin her down in an argument
3. Talented : She should outweigh me in talents. She should be a writer,a dancer,an innovator,a tech freak,a poet,a gamer and be better at all of these than me. She should be obsessed with physics,psychology,technology,unification of knowledge,invention,parapsychology etc etc.
4. Half of the times she should not answer my calls. Shouldn’t bother to reply.
5. She should NEVER stop me when I am thinking or speak to me at that moment.She should pretend I don’t exist.
6. She should always give me contradiction to what I believe is true regardless of whether she agrees with it or not.
7. She should never leave me
8. She should make fun of me.
9. She should not let me parent her
10. She should be rude most of the times but when I loose it she should tell me she loves me.
11. She should hate me for interfering in her fights.
12. She should make me say “Damn you are intelligent !” when I am fucked up.
13. She should not use words like “Whatever”,”not fair”,”Aww” or any of those deemed girly.
14. She should be at least mentally very very mature than me.
15. The person she should hate the most and love the most should be me. No one else should matter.
16. And the most important of all. When I ask her to hit me,She should HIT ME !

Note : Looks no barrier , beauty no achievement

PS : If you are a psycho, I am single.