Amit was a nice guy. A little shy maybe, but he had the basic ingredients for a normal human being. Amit didn’t go out much, said he was looking for the right girl to come along. But God, Amit was 34 years old. Anyway, Amit just kept plugging along, confident that some day the heavens would open up and his dream girl would float into his life.
That’s where Shreya comes in. Now Shreya wasn’t really ugly, its just that the sun usually hit her the wrong way, with light.
One ordinary February morning while flipping through the newspaper, Amit caught a glimpse of an ad that boldly announced, “Need a Mate? Try Computer-Date.” Now, Amit had a twinge of interest, but didn’t go hog wild over the idea of a machine finding him a woman. “But what the heck,” he thought, “a computer-got-woman was better than none at all.”
So, Amit weighed the idea in his mind for a few days and finally decided to fill out the application. He mailed it off the next day and began to wait.
Meanwhile, at the other end of town, completely unaware of Amit’s existence. Shreya was living with her mother and had to listen to that, “When are you going to find a husband. ” routine. Then Shreya saw the ad maybe, just maybe she thought . . . Three weeks later Amit and Shreya were contacted by the Computer-Date people.
Amit was told that his silky-haired, almond-eyed, 36-24-36, “Ideal” woman had been found, and they would be able to meet that weekend. Her name was Shreya. Shreya was told that her tall, fair,and handsome man had been located, and would be able to meet her that weekend. His name was Amit.
Amit could hardly wait for the moment, his hands went moist at the very idea of meeting this beautiful bombshell. “Maybe I shouldn’t have laid it on so thick about my physical characteristics,” he thought. “Well, I’m almost tall. 5’8″ is only four inches away from six foot. ” he reasoned. And my skin appears fair under the correct lighting conditions, and for being handsome, isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder,” he argued with himself.
On Shreyas’s home front, things were in an uproar as she dyed her hair three shades of copper in five hours and tried to figure out what was better bra-fodder, toilet tissue or her round jello molds? “Maybe I shouldn’t have laid it on so thick with that beautiful bombshell bit,” she mused. “But, actually, my 24-38-36 figure isn’t that far from the truth” she added.
The day finally came. Amit was to meet Shreya outside the Computer-Date office and from there they would go out to dinner and then a movie.
Amit got there first. Clad in his Salman-styled flare-collar shirt, and skin tight chinos, he looked like a wannabe in a B-grade bollywood flick. It had been some time since he’d been out. Shreya arrived shortly, one of her jello molds was slipping and her collar was soaked with dye. She didn’t look like Megan Fox.
Amit caught sight of this breast-slipping, dye dripping creature and chuckled, “What a dog, good thing I’m dating a fox tonight.” Shreya spotted the wannabe bollywood star and mused to herself, “What a loser, must be waiting for the role of a spot boy to open up.”
Hours passed as tho two love-hungry souls pretended not to be waiting but didn’t fool each other. Finally, Amit gave up and decided that this dyed copperhead wasn’t that bad. He sauntered over and asked her, “Busy tonight, honey?” in his best manly voice.
“Well, uh, no” she said. ‘I guess I’m not busy at all.”
“Fine, me and you can do the town. How about it?”, he asked.
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