Adolescents – Boyfriend Troubles and Family

This is a common thing which we see around…Everyone reacts differently, but this is something which majority of the elders react in the same way…

Girl: My roommate’s boyfriend told that (Thunder and lighting) …  And after a short conversation…
Mom: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: No
Mom: (sigh) Good, don’t be like that… ok? Boyfriend and all…
Girl: Why? Till now you people took so much pain and trouble to bring me up. I don’t want to give you any more trouble. I will find myself. Why mom… You take rest.
Mom: Beta, don’t tell like that. We only will find.
Girl: no momma, I will find.. I don’t want to trouble you any more…. (Heart Attack)
However forward, modern, high standard our parents are, they are strongly rooted to our Indian culture, moral and values when it comes to such issues. You can hear them speaking to all those aunties or some random people, ‘You should never bother about others, if you look at what others think, you can’t do anything’ , ‘If kids find a guy and if he is rich, less work for us’, ‘If someone is in an affair, they should marry that person only‘ etc.

A girl was in love with a guy, the family didn’t accept because the guy was considered to be from a lower family (I have no idea what that means).

A girl in love with her cousin, world war in her house ‘You can’t marry him, even if it was a manual laborer I would have agreed, not him’.

A Girl falls for a manual laborer and parents say ‘What do you think? Do you know our status, what about your future?’.

From electricity to sparks to falling for each other and then confessing, one person used to tell, her parents won’t have any problem, even if she mingles with guys or finds someone. The guy used to come home often and was a favorite among her family members. But one fine day her mom says ‘Tell him not to come home again, people will say something and all‘.

A girl falls for her distant relative, apparently no problems. But some problem with a mutual relative is the reason that she can’t get him. The girl is going to marry that guy not some random relatives.

They are ready to marry off the girl by emotional blackmailing, threatening, torture or anything possible to some random stranger who they think is ‘good’. Like common posts we seen on social networking sites “you should never speak with a stranger, but now can sleep with one” (double standards).Indian Parents
If a person makes a mistake, all the blame is on his/her friends. Even if one has a boyfriend, parents will be like ‘Is it because all your friends have boyfriend?‘. But parents never understand that maybe that friend is the reason their child is speaking with them. People tell ‘After all she is your mom/dad. You shouldn’t be stubborn.’ But parents can be stubborn. They don’t think that it’s from them every kid learns.

Even though they take care of us well,teach us to follow our dreams and are concerned about us. In the end, for many things, that’s not even applicable. Everything we do is considered as ‘new generation’ ‘confused’ ‘SMS generation’ problems.
It’s high time that people change their mindset. It’s not blaming any parents, but there are many contradictions of what we see , hear, preach and practice. Just to make everyone realize that Anyone can be wrong or right. There is no rule that teenagers are wrong always, they can be right. And… There is no rule that elders are right always, they can be wrong too…

About the Author: Sara Showkath Ali is a second year student at Kasturba Medical College, Mangalore.

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