Hello friends

I am gay. But I am not gay.

Confused? The first ‘gay’ means exactly what you are thinking. A homosexual. The second ‘gay’ is meant to be a synonym for happiness.

I can’t introduce myself to you. Because I am afraid that if I do so then my classmates, teachers or my parents might see it. This is my life, full of fear. Fear to express myself. Fear to open up with anyone I know.

I live in Manipal and I am a second year student. This is the most that I can tell you. Now you must be thinking that why I am writing this? Well there is no point.

I read many articles on ManipalBlog.com and I thought of writing one myself. Even though I am just another ‘anonymous’ to you, I am glad that you are reading these words. Because these words are not made up to survive in a socially crippled world, these are unadulterated.

I always knew that I liked boys more than girls when I was a teenager. I had sexual fantasies that had men in it. But I never accepted that fact till I reached high school. By then, I knew that I am different from others. Different from what you might think as ‘normal’.

I never had a boyfriend till date. I never had the courage to express my true feelings for him. I once tried to discuss homosexuality with him. But I got my answer the moment he expressed his views.

I do not know what is going to happen in the future. I might move to a country that is more understanding towards the gay community. I might. That is my only hope at this moment.

Before I finish, I just want you to convey a message: If a friend ever wants to open up with you and discuss about his/her homosexuality, please do not shun him/her. Because your reaction could change his/her life. And trust me, being gay means that I am a homosexual. Being gay does not mean that I am a bad person.

I hope that you will think about this. Thanks for reading

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  1. Hi I hope you are reading this. This is not to sympathise with you. Its Ok. Dont think a lot abt it and for god’s sake dont bother abt those who think its abnormal. Its completely normal as has been proven by medical science. Concentrate on ur studies…go to gokarna…have fun and just dont let that thought bug you all the tym. Relax !! U see there was a time when left handed people were forced to write with right hand.

  2. First of all let me apologize to u for being part of a society which oppresses a large proportion of its members just because it deems them to be ‘abnormal’. Let me tell you that throughout history, under the garb of this ostentatious ‘normalcy’ we have justified such unpardonable things as the caste system, misogyny and what not. I want to commend you for the courage you have shown in writing this piece. I can only hope that you find courage to live whatever life you choose openly and most importantly find love and companionship.

  3. Had written this article a long back when Delhi high court had amended Article 377, but it never went for publication.. I think this is apt here…

    Gays are from Mars…

    Lesbians are from Venus…

    Sleeping in the morning lecture of Community Medicine, my mind was wandering as usual, looking for new aspects – where to kill the boredom. Suddenly it remembered an
    article about the growing community of homosexuals in and around Manipal, and
    as it is a natural genius, connected it to the below mentioned Legend. Then my
    subconscious mind hopped in and poured in the results of my observational
    skills, developed thanks to Sherlock Holmes. Followed it was a little bit of
    research, a little bit of imagination and here is this….

    says “All the men were Martians & the women were from Venus. One day,
    Martians saw Venus through the telescope, FELL IN LOVE with women, did
    everything to meet them, found them finally, came down to earth and settled

    Have you
    ever thought how men and women were before they met? I personally believe the
    Martians were Gays & the Venusians, Lesbians. Stop Stop Stop. Before
    jumping to conclusions, don’t take into account just the sexual context of
    these relationships. Let me make it clear that this relation, as far as I have
    perceived, was first, emotional, much as any straight couple, and since every
    love relationship culminates in sexual contact, this also does. And let me also
    make this clear that my perception is strictly observational, if anybody was
    getting ideas there. The sole purpose of this article is to emphasize the point
    that homosexuals are not psychos as perceived by every other self-declared
    so-called-normal person.

    question might arise “What is normalcy”? For me, a person who labours in the
    library till it closes daily, without missing lectures is abnormal, and to him,
    I, sleeping in my room, bunking classes and living a “normal” life is abnormal.
    As a famous Yoga Guru once said “Homosexuals are psychos, mentally retarded
    people”, but to me a person who can bend his body into impossible bizarre
    shapes is abnormal. It’s a relative thing. This misconception arose due to the
    simple fact that we don’t want to accept new things, we are inflexible,
    unbending and unyielding. We think what we are and what we know is normal, but,
    it’s time to accept and change our thinking for good. Such has been the
    tradition or else we would have let the sun revolve around earth for god knows
    how long.

    isn’t a modern concept. Only handfuls know that it’s been around since 300 B.C.
    Then, almost 45% of the civilisation practiced it legally, 50% illegally &
    merely 5% didn’t accept it. At any given point of time, approx. 20% of the
    world’s population suffers from the homosexual mentality, so why isn’t it
    acceptable? What’s the problem if two legally adult individuals maintain a
    homosexual relationship behind closed doors and otherwise have a dignified
    behaviour outside? Agreed that, Public display of emotion or love, whether it
    be homo or heterosexual, hasn’t found acceptance till date, hence it is
    denounced. But why so for a private relationship ???

    might be quick to point out that if today homosexuality is allowed a stage
    might be set for legalizing bestiality in future. I’d say that if people find
    it natural and if 1/5th of the world finds it normal then Yes, we
    should be game for it.

    concern of these so-called-concerned-people is the spread of STD’s. True,
    having a relationship involving multiple partners has higher risks of
    transmitting STD’s but this applies to both homo & heterosexuals, and if a
    homosexual has safe sex with a single partner and is happy with it than being a
    gloomy and sad straight, we shouldn’t have a problem with that. Like in the
    profession of a Doctor, the patient needs Empathy and not Sympathy, the same
    rule applies to day to day life. Imagine yourself in their place and then think
    why and what and you’ll find the answer. Think why they are homosexuals by
    imagining their position and you will find it.

    studies indicate two predisposing factors for homosexuality namely
    Environmental & Genetic. Scientists are yet to determine the genes of
    homosexuality, which once defined, would support the fact that homosexuality is
    as “natural” as our hair colour. On the other hand, environmental factors start
    shaping up right from the childhood. Often divorced parents leave a deep
    psychological impact on the child’s psyche which might lead to the thought that
    if heterosexuality had so many problems then why I shouldn’t try homosexuality
    which statistically has a far lower separation rate. Those who’ve tried this
    and found it interesting, recommend it to friends – another environmental
    factor. Apart from this curiosity to try new things also lead to persons being
    homosexual. This is a new field of study for persons studying human behaviour
    and their changes, (I don’t remember what they are called,) the more they will
    study; the more we will get to know the cause behind this behaviour and will
    help us to establish the normalcy & naturalness of homosexuality Today there
    are just 51 countries in the world which mark homosexuality as illegal and
    against the law, the worst being the Middle-east nations having penalties
    ranging from 2 years imprisonment to death, but the good thing is that the
    other 200 countries have accepted these people whole heartedly, which includes
    the whole of Europe and South America. Thanks to the movement started by The
    Naz Foundation India Trust and a PIL filed in due course, on July 2nd,
    2009 the Delhi High Court passed a verdict which marked the legal acceptance of
    homosexuality in India. Though the order to be valid, an amendment in
    Constitution is still needed but there seems to be light at the end of this
    tunnel. Till it’s done, the debate will continue and articles will keep on
    coming, and after it is done, I hope mind will find some new topic to vandalise

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