Wake Me Up When The Lecture Ends!

Here is a legendary tale of a last bencher. I have 100 % physical attendance in class and 100% mental absence as well. Everybody likes to enjoy scenic beauty for as Keats said “A thing of beauty is a joy forever”. Ever had a view from last bench? It’s awesome. You can have all those pleasures that you get on watching a natural scenery. Unlike in automobiles where “Objects in the mirror are closer than they seem” which sounds freakish, but from last bench everything is far and harmless. You can see everybody in the class  as last benchers never look back. This is one of the most prestigious thing about them which they take pride in. But this phrase remains valid only during normal classes . Exam circumstances compel us to seek help from all directions. We have a strong CV. I mean Ctrl+c and Ctrl+ v. We guys are very innocent. Innocent in the sense 0 % knowledge. In my case it can be -1%.

Speed of sound is 330 m/s approximately. Theoretically, a distance of 15m from first to last bench won’t make any difference, but practically it does. By the time priceless signals from your professor’s transmitter reaches your ear, the signals get weak and degraded in quality as well as pitch and you turn off your receiver. That’s the reason there is so much peace and harmony at the back, something you can’t find in your hostels. You feel so gloomy at the back that you can take a power nap of 50 minutes. The remaining 10 minutes are the most valuable minutes of any period. Something everybody eagerly waits for-the time for roll-calls. For the last benchers its like a moment to treasure. You can see tears in their eyes. They feel as if the national anthem is being played in the background. As soon as the teacher calls their names out loud, they raise their hand high enough; as if they are to receive the Bharat Ratna. Ultimately,  at the end of the semester, if one fails to collect around 75% of the total such hypothetical ‘Bharat Ratnas’, mark my words- he or she won’t be able to enjoy his or her summer vacations.

Source:Google images.
Source:Google images.

Just imagine if such last benchers are ever asked to sit on the front bench and attend a lecture! They feel as if they are the only ones in the class. Everything is so zoomed in, that your head starts spinning. The teacher who looked like your junior from the last bench now looks like a giant. The board appeared to be crystal clear from the last bench , now seems to have the entire Ramayana inscribed on it. The teacher constantly looks into your eyes and you get hypnotized . You also look deep into his eyes to create a good impression. You try to prove that you are among the brightest students of the class which, in fact, is a total fallacy. You are like that second-hand fluorescent lamp powered by those duplicate “Made in China” batteries which can go off at any moment. But you don’t care about that. You nod with every word he says with utmost concentration,”Yes sir! Yes sir! okay yeah! yeah right sir! Oh yes! ..Exactly!”

Sometimes if you are scared while sitting on the first bench, you may get a strong urge to answer Nature’s Call, like I generally do when I am tensed. But you are in a college now. Unlike school students, you can’t go and ask your teacher,”Sir, may I be excused?” you learn to study under extreme pressure and traumatic environment. Some teachers are more intolerant towards the last benchers. There is every possibility that he or she might ask you some alien questions you have never heard of. It was a year back when I fell prey to a teacher. I was sleeping in the last bench when he caught me red-handed and empty-headed. In case you meet any teacher assaulting last benchers, never ever sit in the last bench. That doesn’t mean you have to sit on the first bench. Better option would be to bunk.
Thanks for stopping by.

About the Author: This article is by our Guest Blogger Aishwary Shivhare, studying in KMC, Mangalore in the Batch of 2011.

Edited by: Nidhi

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