Salon etiquette: Things that piss off your hairdresser

hairdressers at salon
Photo by Ewien van Bergeijk - Kwant

Hairdressers are usually patient creatures, but there are some boo-boos that piss them off too. If you find yourself nodding to any of the ones listed below, you know it’s time to send them flowers. Here are 11 things your hairdresser won’t tell you – but wants to.

Don’t just say ‘same as last time.’

I get ten clients daily, and you were here four months ago. You do the math. Take a picture if you really liked what you got the last time.

Make an appointment

Please don’t ask me to make room for you on a busy day. Would you like it if I pushed you back to make room for someone else? I’m sure you’re very busy, and I will certainly take you in if someone cancels.

No name-dropping

I don’t care who your father knows; my day is booked. So, for now, swallow your pride, use some extra-strength styling gel to tame those wild locks, and make an appointment.

Don’t text/take calls while I’m doing your hair.

You won’t realize it, but you move your head when you’re on the phone. So, if a snip goes wrong, you’ll only have yourself to blame. Excuse yourself if you absolutely must take that call and keep it to five minutes. I’m working on a tight schedule, too. And if you must be available 24/7, wear earphones and don’t shake your head too much; the other person can’t see you anyway.

Be on time. Period

Time is money around hairdresser East Perth, and if you can’t be on time, call ahead and reschedule. And if you’re going to flake out, let me know. Don’t behave like my psychotic ex-boyfriend.

Communicate clearly

Don’t be unambiguous; I’m not a mind reader, and my idea of a “trim” may not be the same as yours. And no, I cannot give you the “Jennifer Aniston look from Friends, season 3.” Give me photographs, videos, length, and cut.

Don’t bring your kids (or pets)

It’s simply impolite to bring them to a salon. Restless children are an unwanted distraction; you can’t leave them unchained to wreak my shop. If they’re perched on your lap or tugging at your arm, I won’t be able to do a good job. What’s worse is expecting my staff to look after them. So don’t take offence if I chop off more than I’m supposed to!

Don’t expect me to magically fix it.

You may have been led astray by a Greek goddess in Vogue or Colour Box. But some things are beyond repair, even for God. The hairdresser Mt Eden, will be happy to fix your botched job, but in moderation. So be satisfied with the stop-gap solution they give you, and wear a hat until it grows out. Or, in some cases, grows back.

Trust me

Don’t look at me like I’m Bernie Madoff when I try to sell you salon products. They’re better than regular styling products, and I know what will work for your hair. Sure, I make a cut on it, but so does the friendly neighbourhood chemist guy.

I’m a hairdresser, not a bartender

We don’t always have to make small talk. Sometimes just “move your head to the left” is enough. Sure I will listen to your neuroses when I’m feeling better, but for God’s sake, I’m not a bartender. Also, shouting over the hairdryer noise about relationship problems to your hairdresser is not pleasant for anyone.

Talk to me

Whatever it is you didn’t like, we can try to fix it. But don’t go around bad-mouthing us. Most salons offer free cuts/color jobs for dissatisfied clients, and you should take full advantage of that.

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