Donald Trump literally shocks the entire world [No, not in a debate, C’mon]. According to sources, President of the United States (POTUS )and First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) were recently tested positive for the novel COVID-19. Fortunately for all of us, the prayers worked and they really did a speedy recovery as they are both are now out of danger, safe and sound all thanks to the cure to the virus made up by our man Trump himself!
How did POTUS make such an effective cure? Well unlike most of us, he decided to do something productive with the time he had during the quarantine. Apparently, all this while he has been experimenting with household items to find the cure (or at least, that’s what he claims). He really does believe in ‘Charity begins from home.’ He urged the public to not fear the Corona Virus, claiming it to be a hoax while making fun of his opponent in the presidential run, Joe Biden from the beginning for wearing a mask. Who knew he was working his master mind all this while?
In a recent interview he was asked of how he managed to come up with such an effective cure single handed while teams of intellectual scientists couldn’t really do much as of now. Giving one of his famous smirk, the orange replied, “I started working by watching stand up comedies every night with his daughter Ivanka and wife Melania. Because you know, Laughter is the best medicine. Yeah, no, it didn’t work. The comedians really don’t just do it for me.”
Then he added, “I thought about Dawn, you know, while doing dishes. I experimented with it on Melanie. Had her sip a glass of Dawn with 2 spoons of water every two hours. Supposedly helps in cleaning the insides. It helps me a lot as well. After the 12 cans of Coke I have everyday, I really need it and it has helped me so far. And you know what, it is not a product from China!”
In an Instagram live video, FLOTUS and POTUS spoke about how effective his little experiment turned out to be. “He is right you know, you don’t really need a mask. Go to your nearest stores, get yourself Dawn! With two spoons of water and a little faith you’re good as new.”
After the live video, and the huge success of the Dawn cure, there is reportedly a huge demand for Dawn in states like Chicago, New York, California, New Jersey, Virginia, Texas and Pennsylvania. People have already started stocking up bottles of Dawn like they did with toilet papers at the start of lockdown.
POTUS, being the dedicated President he is, will be back to work tomorrow according to the inside sources.
In order to appreciate the efforts of POTUS, it is announced that there will be an applause ceremony where in people from all over the world would come out to the open grounds and clap without fear, for now, we have the cure! At least we’re free from Zoom calls. We can call this the “Dawn” of the Post COVID world!
P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?
About the Author: The Author and Designer are first year students from from Manipal who can finally visit the campus for the first time soon, thanks to Trump’s cure. That’s all you need to know!