Why Saying “I Changed My Mind” Instead of Disappearing Is Important

i changed my mind
Photo by Elijah O'Donnell

A common theme I’ve seen with folks for years is how they handle I changed my mind.”  It’s a theme that carries into their business and personal lives.

Here’s are two examples:

1. I’m often contacted for a complimentary consultation from someone who wants to discuss coaching. They take the time to fill out the form on my site and state why they’d like to speak with me. I’m very responsive to returning emails within 24-48 hours. We set up an agreed-upon time to speak. The date arrives, and they don’t show up—no call or email.

2. You’ve had a great conversation with someone who says they want to use your services. You probably work with an agreement, proposal, contract, or invoice to initiate your work together. Everything looks like it’s a go. You might set up a call or meeting to finalize things, especially if they need to check out some things like scheduling, time considerations, or budgets. And you don’t hear from them again. You make several attempts to contact them, and there is no response.

They changed their mind.

Why do people disappear?

Here are a few common reasons why people don’t admit they changed their mind

  • It’s too confrontational. They say they’re uncomfortable being so honest. They feel too vulnerable and fear the reaction from the other person.
  • Other priorities come up that require their attention. You aren’t one of them. They may or may not get back to you.
  • They made a mistake in saying yes, and they are embarrassed to admit it. The decision might have been made impulsively, and disappointing others or “looking bad” is something they want to avoid.
  • They don’t want to deal with it. Too stressful, too much work. They might not know what to say, and if no relationship has been established, they feel no further action is essential.
  • It’s a habit. They don’t give it another thought.

I admit that “I changed my mind” without a word can be a button-pusher for me because I appreciate and advocate communication. Who you are and what you do speaks volumes to people. People respond favorably to congruency and less favorable with inconsistencies. Congruency fosters trust.

Do your words and actions match, or do you say one thing and do another?

Avoiding situations as being unpleasant or uncomfortable diminishes reputation, trust, and credibility.  For me, integrity is one of my highest core values.  I see showing up and taking 100% responsibility for actions as critical elements to having integrity.

What you might not realize is that when you make mistakes or avoid situations, you abandon yourself by not showing up, speaking up, and standing up for who you are. If you’re on a journey to grow yourself as a person as well as your business, I guarantee that on some level, you will feel the effects on your self-esteem and confidence don’t take 100% responsibility for who you are and what you do (or don’t do!)

How do you handle situations when you need to change your mind?

Anything you need to clear up or clean up?

I’ve said many times that every experience offers healing and growth opportunities. You might be amazed at how much more peaceful and abundant life is when you show up and embrace them all!

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