In every relationship, there are times when a couple feels closer to each other, but here are also times when you have to work for it in order to keep the bond between the two of you tight. The first crucial step in keeping your marriage alive is noticing the signs of a rut and accepting that you’re knee-deep in a terrible routine. The next thing you need to do is figure out how to break free of the rut. We’re here to help you recognize some of the signs of a marriage rut and offer a few suggestions on how to get the spark back.
Your “couple time” isn’t that fun anymore
If you’re both having full-time jobs and children to take care of when you’re home, the attention you give to each other can easily become minimal. This can only make the two of you drift apart and eventually, find surfing the Internet much more fun than talking to each other about your day when you’re finally alone with one another. If you’ve noticed this is the case, it’s time you make some serious effort to change this rut. Instead of staying home with TV and your smartphones, go out. Be it for a drink, to the cinema or maybe the theatre, a night out together will make you feel like you’re dating again. Those were some of the best days, weren’t they?
You haven’t had a date in ages
Speaking of dates, can you even remember when was the last time you and your spouse had a romantic dinner date? Or the time that you surprised one another with a present for no reason and experienced new, exciting things together? If you can’t even begin to remember, it’s time you started making new memories that will refresh your relationship. Instead of staying home on a Saturday night, book a suite at a hotel and have a romantic night together in completely new surroundings. Order room service and just indulge the time you’re having for yourselves, which can maybe even spice up your sex life too.
Sex got very predictive
Since we’re on the subject of sex, can you even remember the last time you truly enjoyed it? If your sex life has become too predictable and you’re honestly happier when it’s over than while it lasts, you need to turn your sex game up a notch. One of the great options would include having a third party join you and show you some of their favourite activities. If nobody comes to mind, you can always rely on escorts to be the best company and maybe even teach you a few things that you can later practice in the bedroom on your own.
You’re doing the same things every day
Getting up, making breakfast, rushing to work, coming back home to work on chores and plopping on the couch to catch some breath. Is that how your days have looked like for the past decade? Going round in circles every day can bring nothing good to your marriage, so it’s time you made some changes. Think about finding a hobby that both of you will enjoy. This will allow you to have more time for yourselves as a couple, which is vital for your relationship. Dedicating yourself to work and children will eventually make you drift apart if you don’t find time for just the two of you.
All of the conversations seems forced
It’s okay that you want to be alone with your thoughts from time to time, but if you’re spending more time on your phone than talking to each other when you finally have the chance, you’re in a rut. If talking to your spouse seems like the biggest punishment of all because you don’t seem to have anything important to talk about – some changes need to be made immediately. Now is the time for the two of you to speak openly about the reason behind this situation. Maybe one of you feels like every time they start a meaningful conversation the other one isn’t too attentive or doesn’t care much. Communication is the key, so when you feel like you can’t communicate, you need to be honest with one another and start asking questions. Getting the problem out on the surface will help you fix it faster and better.
Being stuck in a marriage rut is sometimes unavoidable, but certainly very fixable. If you feel like your marriage lacks spark, follow the previous few tips and you’ll quickly be the old loving couple that had so much fun together when you started dating.