Last week me and my new gang of volunteering friends went to a small girl get together. I, being more of an introvert, like to talk about coffee, music and life. I sat in anticipation wondering what the conversation would be about. While the initial phase revolved around why they wore the respective dresses, gradually, slowly and unfortunately the titanic hit the iceberg buried deep in the chambers of my heart-Relationships.
Relationships to how they met their boyfriends to their dating goals to marriage plans.
All the other eyes gazed at me, asking the explanation for my unparalleled silence.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend” One of them asked finally, breaking the awkward silence.
“No” was my answer.
The curious eyes now showed amazement which gradually drifted into sympathy.
“24 and still single”? She asked.
My heart almost sank. It was that unexplainable feeling of being out of place.
Like being a red ball in a box full of white ones.
Like being a bright star on a sunny day!
Like being a tear in the world of smiles,
Like being sunset at the rise of dawn!
While my thoughts and emotional intelligence were still trying to form an alliance, the expectant eyes urged me to give an answer.
“Yes, Haven’t found a soul mate yet” I answered half shyly, half embarrassed and remaining “Why am I even answering this”.
Her reply came as a shocker!!
“Ye soul mate sab kuch nahi hota.
Find someone soon, else you will end up being 50 and with a lot of cats”!!!!!
The rest of the night went on just like that, with lots of conversation around and the introvert me- just resorted back to secret conversations with my favorite person- myself.
This question has pestered me ever since I have become “eligible” to be in a relationship. It has embarrassed me at parties, made me feel weird at family dinners and raised suspicions by my parents. What amazes me the most and the question I have been asking to myself and never found an answer is “Why is it so important to be in a relationship”
Is it the peer pressure of the happy couples?
Is it being out of the “so called social circle”?
Or is it because not having a relationship makes you Socially Challenged, Emotionally Cold and Vulnerable.
But if you ask me, the answer is none of it.
The answer is as simple as “I didn’t meet a person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life”.
And No! , I am not going to compromise.
In the course of life, I have met two kinds of people: The ones who don’t feel deeply and ones who do.
Well, the second ones are my favorite.
There is something special about them (us)
You grow up drawing learnings from others experiences.
You feel joy in the most exultant way possible.
Every person you meet leaves an impression.
You have an inner voice which is constantly guiding you.
You have opinions, you have convictions and you refuse to follow the “path”
You have insights, you have perceptions and you are special!
With a personality like this, you refuse to do anything that your heart refuses to do
And that’s why people like us have problems settling with anything that our heart disagrees with!!!
So who exactly is at fault?
Is it the people around you?
Or is it your deep kind of personality?
Well, Actually, no one.
If only, the person you are, decides to remain strong in your convictions and trust in your instincts.
If only you realize that relationships are only a part of life.
If only you accept that your inner voice is much louder than the noise around.
If only you convince yourself that life is too short to do anything you don’t like.
If only, the society around you, doesn’t evaluate your social behavior by your relationship status.
If only the people around respect your individuality
If only the world could see your beauty, alone
What needs to be changed is the way you see it and the way they see it.
You have no control over the latter!
So why not go with something you can change!!!!
To all those who are 24 and still single, here is my message
Find a partner when you want to,
Lead your life with the person you want to.
Get into a relationship because you want it and your heart tells you so,
Not because it is awkward at parties,
Not because you are tired of questions,
Not because other couples pressurize you,
Not because being single makes you weird,
Don’t let someone else’s opinion influence your decisions and get caught in the complicities of surviving something you didn’t want in the first place.
Be in a relationship, choose it because your heart longs for one and because you want one!!!
Not for once compromise on doing something that you are not fully convinced.
Shut the doors of your mind to those who preach to you the norms of living in a society.
Once you find silence, put your hand on your heart and listen to what it says.
And trust me, it can never go wrong.
So the next time when someone asks you” 24 and still single”!!!
Look into their eyes, smile with confidence and reply “24, single and amazingly happy!!!!
About the Author: Rachan C Hegde is an alumnus of School of Allied Health Sciences, Manipal University. She is currently pursuing MBA in Hospital and Healthcare Management at Symbiosis International University, Pune!