6 things you should NOT be doing this Valentine’s Day

Valentine‘s Day is an important day for the romantics. And for young raging hormone factories of our age, Valentine‘s Day is one of the few occasions we actually celebrate enthusiastically by showing off our love for our beloved one (or ones).

You might meticulously plan stuff that you should do on V-Day, but also take care of the stuff you should NOT do on that day:

1. Forget that it’s Valentine’s Day. Especially if you’re not single. You’ll be screwed… and not in the literal sense. If you’re the forgetful kind, add reminders in your calendars, diaries, sticky notes, mobile phones, EVERYWHERE.

2. Call your Ex. If that thought crosses your mind even for a nanosecond,

a. Wash your face
b. Smell garlic
c. Drink coffee
d. Watch your favourite Sci-fi movie.
But do NOT call your ex. That’s the worst thing ever.

No.

3. Update status or tweet the whole day about what you’re doing on V-Day. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, you better spend the whole day(and night *wink wink*) with her/him without the intrusion of technology. If you’re single, stop whining about it on your timeline like a pussy and better think up a strategy on how to get ‘that special one’ by next valentine’s day.

4. Buy gifts that cost < Rs 100. Yeah, Valentine’s day, commercialization, yada yada SHUT UP.  No excuses for your Indian tightassery… just go buy a nice gift for your loved one! He/She will love it.

5. Propose marriage to your girlfriend. Proposing on Valentine’s day? How nice, Captain Original! Proposals must always turn an insignificant date to a significant one. Getting engaged on Valentine’s day is just too lame. Choose another day for that. That way, you’ll have another special day to celebrate in the future.

6. Be depressed. Have a good time! If you’re single, you still have your family and (hopefully single) friends, and you can make their day. If you have someone, plan a romantic day, or let it be impulsive. Anything. But be sure to have a great time!

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Swarna is a twelve-tentacled anthropomorphic squid who was born out of radioactive waste. She probably loves you, but you can't say for sure. She is also, unfortunately, trapped in the body of a boring Masters student at University of Florida.