The Genderless Baby


So this comes up from stories regarding baby Storm born to a Toronto couple.  You can read it here.  The parents have decided not to disclose the baby’s sex to anyone including the Baby Kanwar articlebaby as it would give the kid more freedom of choice in a progressive world.  They talk about how they allow their older two boys to decide their own hair style, pick their clothes from both the girls and boys sections admitting quite happily how the elder boy found an exciting pink dress for himself as it really poofs out at the bottom.

Are you kidding?  First and foremost, no, I’m not preaching.  No, I don’t have kids that I can really relate in that respect.  Just a few notes here and I’ll let the readers decide what they think.  Life is hard enough already.  From what I’m seeing the kid wasn’t born with a silver spoon in its mouth. Yes the kid will be known as “IT” not him or her.  Like a rodent that you find outside your place and you don’t know if it’s a male or female.  “The cat’s licking itself.”, “The dog is chasing it’s tail”.  “It.” Now that, that’s over.

I can understand letting the kid decide its own haircut.  Unless you go to a school that requires a specific type for boys and girls.  Wait… how will the kid decide then?  Suppose the kid wants to be female but it’s a male.  Will it be allowed to have long hair with a pony tail for the growing years?  How great of a beginning do you think the kid will have in a classroom filled with kids who KNOW if they are boys or girls. Can you even fathom the amount of teasing / bullying you might have to endure?  A girl dressed as a boy might not be apparent till puberty or if you’re have the body of Keira Knightly but after that it would just look awkward.

“Jazz — soft-spoken, with a slight frame and curious brown eyes — keeps his hair long, preferring to wear it in three braids, two in the front and one in the back, even though both his parents have close-cropped hair. His favourite colour is pink, although his parents don’t own a piece of pink clothing between them. He loves to paint his fingernails and wears a sparkly pink stud in one ear, despite the fact his parents wear no nail polish or jewelry.”

By doing this to the child I would feel that you’re denying it the basic right, the most basic of basic foundation structures that can make the kid what it can be.  Sex.  Further more it’s NOT in the kids hand to decide it’s a boy or a girl (alright at least not at that age, growing up it can change into what ever it feel’s like it).  But without giving it a foundation? How do you make the kid decide if it wants to be male or female?  What happens if the kid feels like a boy trapped in a girls body?  Or vice versa?  What sort of a mental toll do you think that could have on the child?  I’ve read about suicides due to this.

Is this realistic?  Even remotely?  I can’t see how.  Would you really want your kids to known as girl-boy or boy-girl?  The adults might be understanding up to a level, even if they don’t they won’t say much, but the rest of the kids in class? Seniors?  How forgiving will they be?  Again I’ve got no issue if the kid grows up to be any of LBGT community.  It’s everyone’s choice, but the gender isn’t their choice, it’s what they were born with and you shouldn’t deprive your kids off this absolute basic foundation.  Who are you to that to your kids?  You say that you want to be progressive?  Then tell the kids that you’re born as this, but let them make their own choices.  Give them a playboy and a playgirl side by side and see which one they pick up an keep around.

Then again, I’m not a parent, just an outsider looking in and voicing my thoughts.




  1. I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t think this is crazy. I think people
    misunderstand what the parents are doing. They’re not pulling Pop away
    from gendered activities, they’re just letting Pop do and wear what Pop
    wants to. They’re not trying to ‘hide’ Pop’s gender from Popsself.
    They’re doing nothing wrong, and I think more people end up in therapy
    due to societal and parental pressures to conform than for lack of those
    pressures. They’re actually thinking about how they’re raising their
    child rather than just going along with what society expects, which, in
    my opinion, is much better than the majority of people who raise their
    kids to fit their own vision of what they think their kids should be.
    These parents are ahead of their time, so don’t be surprised if all of
    your great-grandchildren end up being raised in a manner like this.

    • I agree but from what I read or understand they are also not telling the kid what gender it is.  It almost seems that if not anything else the parents might have some psycho-social issues about making sure they have to do what;s right.  Perhaps some issues with the first two kids?  I wouldn’t give a damn about what society wants with the kid.  Just a statement, that you need to give the kid a foundation from which to start his life.  Clothes and hair cut’s are just toppings. 

    • No, I’m not saying that at all.  I had a feeling that this would come up.  A kid can grow up to do whatever or be in any community that it wants like I said, but at the same time not giving the kid it’s right to know what gender it was born as is just wrong. That isn’t something that can be chosen at birth at least.  

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