How to Eliminate Fears and Bad Feelings

fear and bad feelings
Photo by Gianfranco Grenar

Without wishing to over-simplify the topic, today, I shall briefly talk about some successful methods I have used to eliminate fears from my life, as well as get rid of the bad feelings I had.

I decided to come up with and write some techniques on dealing with this issue, because I started finding that everyone I talked to, be it friends, family, or even strangers, were going through, on some level, exactly what I am talking about now.

One important point to discuss right away is, coming to terms with these things that are bothering you and being AWARE of the fact that they are there, and not trying to deny or ignore them.

It is like aikido – don’t deny, but rather, deflect. Take that negative force and send it flying! Out of the room, out of your mind, and out of your life! Once you become aware of it and unearth it, it loses its power tremendously, because darkness cannot survive in the light.

However, I don’t believe in digging up stuff about your past because I think, for the most part, it is entirely irrelevant and a drain on your valuable spiritual resources, which could be better used to live NOW.

Many people erroneously think that their past defines them – it doesn’t define them at all. Many people also usually blame their parents for their current problems. They blame their parents for being over-protective, not teaching them how to take risks, not spending time with them, or a myriad of other things.

Here is a controversial statement…are you ready???

That’s all rubbish. You can choose RIGHT NOW how you want to be!

Your parents, my parents, and everyone else’s parents did the best possible job they could, given the resources, knowledge, and experience they had at the time. The past just happened, and whether your perception of it was “bad” or “good,” some remnants of it remain and try to drag you down.

Why? It’s literally all in your head.

It’s your ego. You see, the ego thrives on pain, discomfort, and depression because these things give it the strength to survive. Have you ever noticed that every single enlightened or happy person you have ever met has little or no ego problems?

How do you let go of these painful memories or thoughts? Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now,” answers it very simply – “you let of go of it, as you would let go of hot coal.”

It sounds simplistic, but it’s really profound.

I had so many of these “bad feelings” over and over again, sometimes almost every day. For years I battled with depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts, and I had the false beliefs, or rather ideas or thoughts, that I would never become well qualified, be able to travel the world, and that I would be poor. Yes, I actually had those insane thoughts going on through my head!

Well, I now have a stable job, I have traveled to places where I never thought I would. And I am most certainly not poor. So much for those petty thoughts! These thoughts often come about because of erroneous and deep-seated fears you may have. There is an excellent way to deal with these “fears.”

Many times fears disintegrate when you shine a light on them and become aware of them. Sometimes they also disintegrate when you indulge them.

How to tackle fear and bad feelings?

Fear: “I’ll be poor.”

Solution: OK, so what? Then what? So I’ll be poor at 29…ha! I have 50 years to earn that money back! I’m enjoying my life and loving every moment of it. I’ll never be poor because I have what every single person on this earth wants – happiness and enlightenment. Who chooses whether I believe I am poor or rich – I do!

Fear: “I’ll never be able to travel. I’ll always be stuck in my little town.”

Solution: Oh, really? Well, when I was a kid, traveling meant crossing the street to the market; THAT was exciting for me. Now I can just jump on a plane for a few hundred dollars and go anywhere in the world I want! Who chooses whether I travel – I do!

And your past is just that – passed! Send it packing! It does not, cannot, and will not ever define you.

The excellent ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said: “Lameness in your leg may affect your ability to walk, but never your ability to choose.”

You essentially have three choices when you face any given situation:

  1. Accept it, and do nothing.
  1. Accept it, and then change it.
  1. Accept it, and get out of there (I don’t only mean physical locations, I mean all locations, mental and spiritual too).

Most people think they choose number one. They stay in the same situation and do nothing about it. But in reality, they don’t really accept it, which causes great inner conflict. Whatever you do in a given situation, you must first accept that it is happening. Only then will you have the strength to make positive change.

I don’t mean to belittle anyone or their “problems” here…but really, sometimes you just have to say to yourself, “I am whoever I want to be. I am exactly the kind of person I want to be, I can live exactly the kind of life I choose, every day!”

You are not some country kid from a village in the outback or a habitual screw-up, or a failure, like your ego, erroneously believes. You are a super being that has enormous powers, most of which you are probably not even aware of at the moment. But when you become cognizant of this, your ego is threatened, and tries to throw out “warning signals.”

“Oh, wait, you can’t do that! Who says you can work for yourself? You are a country bumpkin, you…”

Just smile at those thoughts.

Here’s something I told one of my friends recently. He was battling with depressive thoughts and just needed to be reminded of what an excellent person he is. “Do you really believe you have a successful career, are living in a megalopolis like Tokyo, have made good friends, have become so successful with women, have a great relationship with a great girl who loves you dearly, are a successful martial artist, and are paving a path to financial and spiritual enlightenment, by COINCIDENCE? Is that how a ‘country bumpkin’ lives? I think not. I know not!”

The past means precisely this – NOTHING.

You can conquer absolutely everything because you are a whole lot more than just a few past experiences, memories, and thoughts. YOU ARE A SUPER BEING!

I always say depression is probably the best thing that can ever happen to a person because it really makes you appreciate everything you have, all the beautiful things you have in your life right now. It really helps makes you a tough person!

For years, I used to battle with depression. But I don’t have depression anymore…not because I took a magic pill and eliminated it. But because I first accepted it and became aware of it. Then, I didn’t fight it, but I just threw light on it and learned some methods and techniques which helped me eliminate the bad feelings.

I smile at it every time it threatens to come back. And it’s eliminated almost immediately.

How do you smile at a little child who is running around at your feet, trying to catch the ball you have taken away from it?

Have some fun…

And remember, YOU ARE A SUPER BEING, not some pile of random thoughts and images!

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