Why do I feel nervous around girls? How can I be more confident?

Girls in various colors pose at the Manipal University Fashion Show UTSAV 2012 | Photo by Mahesh Mayuur

The Manipal Monk says “You are nervous because of the forces of evolution.”

Let me explain: we exist because of procreation. The ultimate evolutionary goal of our species – of all species – is to procreate.

Therefore, when you like a girl, part of your brain thinks that it is vitally important for you to impress her and get her to like you.

The problem is that tension and stress does not make you appealing to women. Tension makes it difficult for you to be yourself.

If you are completely relaxed, and do not care about impressing the girl, you will be far more natural and confident.

So, in order to stop being nervous around girls, I suggest you do the following:

a) Remind yourself that the girl you are speaking to is not the only girl in the world. If this doesn’t work out, you will meet someone who likes you as much as you like her

b) Be Yourself. Do not try to impress her by being someone else. Not everyone will like you. And you won’t like everyone you meet. Your self-worth is not decided by others.

c) Have fun. Allow your sense of humor to shine. You are funny and natural with your friends. Think of the girl you are speaking to as a friend, not as a prized object.

d) You are not inferior or superior to the girl. You are both human beings trying to find a common ground.

Remember – do not put her on a pedestal. And do not feel or act as if you are superior to her.

So, in summary: Relax. Have fun. Be Yourself. And you will do just fine.

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