The Patient Rules: A Doctor clarifies

So, I’ve worked in a corporate setup for sometime now. The pay is good, conditions borderline hygienic and of course there is that oomph factor of strolling into the ER and having the staff ready to take orders. It’s a world apart from the squalor of medical college wards and staff that verbally slapped you if you even half as requested them to move their hinds from the rickety chairs.

But as a doctor I believe I am entitled to certain courtesies from the patient attendants no matter where I work…. even if you just stepped out of a car that would cost me 3 years’ pay.

1) Please address me as doctor… I am not your bhaiya… neither am I Yaar... have been at receiving end of both these salutations

2) Take it or leave it: At 5 am in the emergency for a common cold… sorry I am the only specialist you can hope to see… So get over your seniority complex… I probably have licked more books to get here than can fit into that teak wood study of yours.

3) Strong medicine: Look antibiotic for a fever with focus… never mind what that means… is no STRONG MEDICINE… Get over the Google half-baked stuff.Doctor_in_a_white_lab_coat_with_a_no_self_diagnosis_sign_self_diagnosis

4) Cannulation: Well its common sense if I prick a bag full of water it’ll leak… same with veins… if I prick a vein BLOOD will come out… cannula will go in… Simple… I can’t change laws of physics just because you can’t stand the site of blood… By the by what did you have for dinner…….    I can still smell and it aint VEG…….

5) Charges: Look I get paid a salary that too never on time… how much the hospital charges you for that silly prescription written by a Junior doc alias bhaiya alias yaar is between you and that sorry faced guy sitting at the billing desk… So stop haggling with me…

Rest is all fine… no problemo.


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