Manipal: The Flies are coming?

Has anyone (besides the table in the N.W. comer of the dining room) noticed the flies in the Food Court?

Has anyone noticed the obvious genetic mutation that enables these insects to

1)walk backwards on your arms?

2)bite at the least provocation?

3)refuse to move when told to, or even under threat of immoral death?

These flies are really different, entirely different from any sort previously on flight pattern 212 through the Food Court.

Examine one closely. Note the greedy look in its eyes (every one of them). Note how when its long, black tongue (highly unethical description for a Bio- major) comes out, it’s next move will be to attack. These are attack flies; a new breed no kidding. And I think something should be done about it.

Things to do:

• Manipal University needs a Fly Patrol; student council will give us necessary funds to begin it.
• We need arm bands appropriately designed with “The Mark of the Fly.”
• We need powerful pesticides. Remember, these are no ordinary files.
• We need to wash the table cloths in the food court, the curtains, and the walls.
• We need a leader. I propose to take up a donation and call Vijay Mallya. He’s our man. Now that the threat of Kingfisher Airlines flying is over, he can help us with funds and power to combat The Flies! (Funny thing…they like beer)?

The main thing Is don’t, and I repeat, don’t try to befriend these creatures by sharing your food with them. They have no scruples, and will walk all over you and your kindness, and will bite raw flesh. I know these things. I’ve been there. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

Our motto: The only good fly is one that is dead.