A Manipal Monk guide to Surviving Helplessness

So what can one do not to feel helplessness?

The best thing to do is to be the true friend or caring child. Part of this caring may mean making the other person laugh if they are down. It may mean giving all the moral support possible and helping them wait out the problem. It’s important, above all, not to hurt the person’s already wounded pride. Hoof in mouth disease is to be avoided.

Sometimes the best and for you the most painful thing to do will be to leave the person alone.

If the person is taking the difficulty with a smile, it is best to follow suit. Even if you are crying inside don’t burden them with the excesses. It only adds to their problems. One of the biggest tests of being a true friend is to survive a crisis with a friend. One of the biggest tests of being a real son or daughter is to weather a parents problems without unduly blaming yourself.

Lastly, one of the best tests of being true to yourself is surviving helplessness and feeling that you helped, just a little.

This song from the movie Anurodh, featuring Vinod Mehra and Ashok Kumar and singer Manna Dey sums it all up –

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“We have to keep laughing to survive
Keep our pain to ourselves
However long the road may be
The river has to keep flowing
If you are all alone
Don’t stop, Get out
You’ll find a co-traveler on the way
If you are helpless
Be the pillar for someone else
If you are helpless”