Manipal’s War against the Environment

[pullquote_right]“We have to destroy the environment as quickly as we can.” – Manipal for Environment Sabotage and Subversion[/pullquote_right]

A newly set up body by the Association of Builders and Construction Developers Enterprises (ABCDE), the Manipal for Environment Sabotage and Subversion (MESS), commissioned a team of researchers to look in to what ails the University township of Manipal a couple of years ago. The results were declared at 5:00 PM today via a press conference.

These are the findings of the Manipal  for Environmental Sabotage and Subversion (MESS):

The position of MESS is that the attempt to preserve and protect the environment and to lessen the environmental impact of human activity is irresponsible.

The president of ABCDE–MESS, Mr. Sai Radha Shetty said,  “We wish to thank the Manipal students and residents for their courage in showing the way to the rest of the world. They are a model for us all.”

“Since human population is constantly increasing in Manipal, reducing the average impact that each human makes on the environment will only delay the poisoning of the air and water, the extermination of species, global warming, weather changes and the destruction of resources necessary to maintaining human life, to say nothing of the rest of life on the planet.” he said. Mr. Shetty further added, “Delaying the devastation means that it will affect much larger numbers of humans than bringing it about more expeditiously, which has already been postponed far more than necessary. In effect, we are bequeathing the consequences of pollution and exhaustion of resources to our children and grandchildren, rather than suffering them ourselves.”

“It is therefore incumbent upon us to destroy the environment as quickly and thoroughly as possible, so that we pay for our own actions, not our descendants.” Mr.Shetty thus summed up the agenda for ABCDE–MESS for the coming year.

P.S: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that didn’t you?