One Night Stands: Are They Really Worth It?

Did you know that a “one night stand” (ONS) used to connote a single-night theater show? Today, one night stands have taken a whole different meaning—a single-night, casual sexual encounter that feels good for some but leaves others feeling about as clean as a used, STD-ridden condom afterwards. It’s the latter that makes people stop to ask the question if a one-night stand is worth having or not.

Now, I’m not about to answer that question for you because it’s your life, and I don’t see why you’d care about what a total stranger has to think about your business. However, I’ll give you two things to think about before you give in to your desires: why do you want to go on a one-night stand? And how do you think you’ll react afterwards?

There are many reasons why men and women have one night stands—the excitement factor, bragging rights for having fucked so and so, the ego boost coming from adding another person to the body count. Whatever your reason is, all one night stands are motivated by sexual drive, where the ultimate objective is to get laid and have fun, with absolutely no strings attached.

So you might be wondering—if one night stands are supposed to be fun, why do some people end up feeling like crap afterwards? I think this happens because people have unrealistic expectations out of their ONS. They make the mistake of sleeping with someone because they think that sex will bring them closer together. I’m telling you now that this is the dumbest reason on earth to have an ONS. You can’t expect love to blossom out of a single evening spent thrashing around in a strange bed. While I won’t deny that there are times when a romantic relationship develops after what was supposed to be a night of no-strings-attached sex, this almost never works out in life. Hell, even in movies this is the root of all complication and drama.

Another reason why some people feel less than human after an ONS is because they jump into one without anticipating how they’ll feel the morning after. A guy friend once told me that after his first and last ONS, he felt so disgusted with himself that he spent a long time curled up in the shower. Now if you’re the type who can’t bear the thought of using a person for sexual gratification and nothing else, then an ONS is definitely not your cup of tea. You’ll just end up going through a lot of angst about what a horrible person you think you are and that’s not very fun.

If you have a tendency to fall in love easily, I’d highly suggest that you stay away from one night stands as well. It’s easy to fall into the trap of getting hooked on your ONS because things get so intimate between the two of you before any sort of trust is built. In case I didn’t make it clear enough earlier, your chances of developing a relationship with your ONS is slim to none. So if you want to get serious with someone, you’d better stick to more wholesome activities or wait til you’re secure with that person before sleeping with him or her.

I’m not going to say that one night stands are either right or wrong because that’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own. We’re all adults here and I’m assuming that you know yourself fairly well and are perfectly capable of making your own decisions. If you think you can’t handle the emotional repercussions of a one night stand, then don’t put yourself in the position where it might happen. But if you can keep a far enough emotional distance to make the encounter a night of great sex and nothing else, then by all means go right ahead. Just remember to play safe and use protection—especially if you sleep with multiple partners. You’d want to stay alive and healthy enough to enjoy one night stands, don’t you?

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The ways of the monk are turbid and often give you a solid headache but devotion and commitment is the first step to enlightenment ( also known as stick to your poison ). To share your enlightenment with the monk, write to him at manipal.monk@manipalblog.com