Manipal Monk: Keeping It Down

Attracting all the wrong things is easier than you think.

This article is directed at mainly the guys (if you couldn’t guess that from the title ;] ), though I’m sure one or two of the ladies will read it to laugh at our unfortunate expense.

I’m sure every guy out there has been in a similar situation at some point or another: You’re walking around, driving, sitting in church, playing video games, or chatting with a girl (especially ones you like, but it could be anyone really) and all of a sudden your dick decides its playtime. You go crazy; “I wasn’t thinking of anything sexual”, “It was an old man!! Does that mean I’m gay?!?”, “We were in church =0 I’m going to hell!!!”, “Someone saw! I’ll go to jail for sexual harassment!!!” – The list of thoughts flying through your head goes on and on. My goal with this article is to dispel some myths about the boner that’s ever ready to spring up its ugly (or not so ugly) head.

Myth: “You have to be thinking about sex to get an erection”

Reality: It can be any time; From during a math test to watching a (clean) movie; Erections are caused by increase blood flow and/or relaxation. That’s why you wake up with so called “morning wood”. When you concentrate on something, your brain needs more blood and so your blood vessels get larger, or vasodialate, letting more blood through, consequently inflating your member.

Myth:“Having an erection means you want sex, even if you don’t know it”

Reality:  It means that you are physically enabled to. It doesn’t mean you are aroused.(though in some cases it can be an indicator. This is one of the most common fears guys have when they are talking to a girl (or anyone for that matter) and they get a spontaneous erection. Do they think I’m a pervert or horny because I have an erection?!?! Girls, if you are around a guy and he gets an erection, don’t freak out. It’s extremely common, completely natural and it doesn’t mean he wants to rape you.

Myth:“I’m attracted to whoever I’m around when I get one”

Reality: You know pretty much what you find attractive. If you get an erection around an unattractive person, a person of the same gender or while watching a gory CSI episode, it doesn’t mean you are attracted to any of it. Erections can be triggered by anything from a scent or pheromone, to your member brushing your pants one too many times while you walk. It could be just a state of relaxation, or a random burst of hormones.

One of the most embarrassing scenarios is when an erection happens in church; not only are the surroundings sacred, but you are surrounded by, and expected to be reverent, and “proper”. Unfortunately most people, especially religious ones, treat sex as taboo almost to the point of being evil, and as such, many teens grow up believing erections are a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, and something to hide (though the last may not be a bad idea ;] ) Having an erection in church doesn’t mean you’re going to hell. God created sex and he designed it to be fun and pleasurable. He also designed your anatomy and knows exactly whats going on to cause your erection. So don’t worry about it. And if you don’t believe in God or go to church, then you don’t have to worry about it.

Having an erection in public is also very embarrassing. Walking down the street with a tent in your pants feels like you might as well have a siren and a flashing billboard that says “Look at me and laugh! I have an erection!!!” In all honesty, Its not as obvious as it feels. Most people will either not notice it, or ignore it. Unfortunately in a few states in the USA (Oregon, Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Mississippi, and probably a few others) It’s Illegal to have an erection in public (though I couldn’t find any record of someone being arrested)… But I’m sure you can challenge it if you ever get cited. Feel free to use this article as evidence. Also consult a few doctors if you ever find yourself in trouble with the law; they should be able to back you.

Finally one of the most obvious scenarios is when you are actually aroused. This is also completely normal and you shouldn’t worry about it. You may just be around someone you find attractive, or see something that reminds you of an experience or a person. The best thing to do is redirect your thoughts away from the subject.

Now that we have addressed a few causes and situations, I’ll give you some advice on how to diminish or hide an erection. If you have the opportunity immediately available, then excuse yourself and go to the restroom to masturbate. If this is not an option, then one of the first things you want to do is focus your concentration away from the erection. I personally like to run doubles through my head. (2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64…..etc .) Anything that will draw your concentration away will work. Concentrating on the erection will only cause it to remain longer. Flex your large muscles subtly; your legs, arms, and abdominals especially. This will draw the majority of the blood in your body to them, and away from your member. Adjust your clothing to take as much pressure as possible off of the member. Pressure tends to encourage the erection, instead of the desired effect.

Use whatever you are carrying or wearing to hide or disguise your erection. If nothing else, and you are walking, you can use an arm to shield it as you pass people… Just keep it stiff and somewhat in front of the offending tent. Use your waistband of your pants or underwear to hold it straight up, so that it doesn’t tent. Pull your shirt down if its long enough as it can also help cover. If there are any obstacles at the appropriate height, between you and any potential viewers, walk with those between you. Surround yourself by people if you are in a crowded area. If they are close they wont be able to see and they will shield other peoples view.

I hope this article has helped many of you to learn something, and that it will help you to avoid some embarrassing situations in the future. Thanks for reading!

About ManipalMonk 93 Articles

The ways of the monk are turbid and often give you a solid headache but devotion and commitment is the first step to enlightenment ( also known as stick to your poison ). To share your enlightenment with the monk, write to him at manipal.monk@manipalblog.com