Welcome! I have successfully escaped medical school and am embarking on a life as a junior doctor, and this is my idea, used for a bit of light-hearted relief from what’s happening in my life. Enjoy.
1. You will look like an ostentatious twit. Just think of what this can do to your popularity! Imagine what impact you will create on the first-year students who’ve just come in and looking up to you to be a role model! Isn’t it always said, to be someone, act like you are someone? Hours of watching House and Dr. Cox who themselves are pretentious can help you understand where I’m coming from!!
2. In many countries and some airlines, doctors are upgraded to business/executive class while flying! If you do not wear a stethoscope, how will the pretty little things come to know you’re a doc? Eh?
3. How about a bit of role-playing? 😉 Watching all those movies can give you a hint.
4. You can come up with witty pick-up lines. “Hi babe, you make my heart go aflutter, care to have a listen?” “Hi, You look like someone with wonderful abs who needs a check up.”
5. Will you be specialising in pathology or psychiatry? Well, this is the only opportunity you’re gonna get to wear a stethoscope, so why not flaunt it?
6. Who knows when you may get an opportunity to say “Stand back, I’m a doctor”! And if the opportunity arises, wouldn’t it be better to have a stethoscope around your neck so that no one questions your qualifications?
7. You’ll be the life of the party! Especially if your friends are not from the medical profession. Just imagine, giving free cardiovascular check ups for your friends. Not only will they appreciate the free offer, you’ll also appear super intelligent telling them that their hearts are normal!!
8. Eavesdropping. Worried that your dear ones are talking behind your back? They’re planning something secret?
9. It’s like practice for your clinical examinations. Just imagine travelling on long distance Indian trains across the country! The amount of time you have can be spent listening to your heart and lungs and you’ll become a pro at identifying normal breath sounds. And if you can convince your fellow passengers that you’re not completely nuts, maybe they’ll appreciate your free checkups too!
10. You can use a stethoscope to prevent physical assault. The stethoscope is a handy weapon and hitting someone with a stethoscope hurts! Hence, a stethoscope on your neck during the long walks at night from the hospital to your hostel, or from the sophisticated drinking establishments means you have a handy weapon in your hand if you fins yourself with less than pleasant company.
Please note, this is a fictitious list, generated during hours of time spent during my rural posting in 2002 in the coastal town of Karwar. I used to reside in the district government hostel there and was provided a room close to the psychiatric ward. I am in no way blaming that for the contents of this post, but do agree that a certain amount of solitude and not so solid company could have damaged a small part of me. Don’t wear your stethoscope outside the hospital, please.