His Ex-Girlfriend is making him my Ex-boyfriend

Dear Akka,

I moved in with my boyfriend after we had known each other for six months. That turned out to be a big mistake. There became a time when we argued more than anything else.

I moved back into my place. The problem is that an old girlfriend of his lost her job and claimed that she couldn’t pay her rent, so he agreed that she could move in with him.

He says that there is nothing going on between them, but lots of the time I telephone for him the phone is not answered. When I ask for reasons he says she uses the phone a lot and doesn’t like breaking off her chat to take a call. But it is his phone.

On a couple of occasions he kept me waiting at home to be picked up. I could not get through to him by phone, so I turned up at his door. He eventually came to the door and pointed to her on the phone, but he never explained why he was not at my place when he should have been, or why it took him so long to come to his door.

Our fights had stopped after I moved out, now her presence in his home has thrown us back there.

She gets on as if she is queen of the castle, even when I am around. I don’t know what to believe.

 Suspicious and Frustrated Girl

Insecure Girlfriend

Dear Suspicious,

It’s one thing helping out a friend, ex or not, but it’s quite another to allow her to ruin your relationship.

Whether or not there’s anything sinister going on between them, the set-up is hurting your relationship. It’s time to ask him what’s really going on.

Why is he happy to allow her to block his calls? If that is what’s happening. Something is not adding up.

Tell him that if he wants your relationship to succeed he will have to decide to leave this bit of his past behind. Listen carefully to his responses. Watch his behaviour. Look for positive changes in his attitude towards your relationship. Decide whether you have a future, based on these.

Yours Truly

Manipal Akka

About ManipalAkka 28 Articles
Manipal Akka is the quintessential problem solver in every hostel in the Student town of Manipal. A problem shared is a problem halved. Write in to manipal.akka@manipalblog.com with your dilemma no matter how small and Akka will respond with sympathy and practical advice.