The art of Post-Breakup transition for the Girl
By Swarna On 12 Mar, 2012 At 02:31 PM | Categorized As Lifestyle | With 2 Comments

Break ups hurt. They do. Sometimes it just pricks you occasionally somewhere inside, and sometimes it’s like you’ve been clenching a million thorns for your life. But whatever, it hurts. And they say the wisest thing to do then is to move on.

Of course you have to move on! Most of the time it’s involuntary… in the sense that everybody eventually “moves on”.” Moving on” is no longer the point. It just comes down to how less painful to make the process of moving on, in a way you don’t end up harming yourself and disregarding others around you. You can google all you want, but it all just depends on what you’re made of. And then we all need help…

  • Cry. Now I haven’t suffered enough break-ups, nor have I done the best job of moving on myself. Between you and me, I’ve cried a million times in solitude, and convinced myself a million times more that the guy I was with was a jerk anyway and that there was no point crying over him. But it still hurts. If you’ve been down the same path, you would know too. It probably won’t help in moving on, but it will help you feel better. There’s no real need to stretch the limits of your strength. Cry as much as you want, and if it’s not enough, cry some more.  Trust me, it helps.
  • Write about it if you want to. Dear Diarify everything. Substitute ‘his’ name with a bad word you gaped at when you were younger. Make him the villain of your ideal romantic story. Think about everything that was wrong with him, from that ugly mole he had on his hand to the way he was in bed. Make up stuff if you want. You may get a weird sense of satisfaction which makes you go “good riddance” in your head. That’s perfectly normal. Just keep this private, and make this fun for yourself.
  • There’s a huge chance that somebody among your friends have been effed with the same way you have. Or vice versa. Reach out to them. Loneliness sucks at times like these. They may not have a solution. You may not even have a problem. But there’s nobody better than them that can help you out. Go out with them, shop with them, laugh with them, and then cry to them. If you have friends that are good enough, they’ll understand. And you’ll know which friends are keepers. (You can reach out to me too if you want to, I can be your friend :) )

Photo courtesy Anjali Rao

  • Focus on the present. Yes, the past is your treasure to keep and you can go back and learn from it when you want to. Nobody can stop you from doing that. But the present is what is more precious. Appreciate it. There probably is a reason why he isn’t there in it. Think about it.
  • Focus on the little joys… a box of chocolates, a new dress, strawberry cheesecake, little kids, sunshine, your favourite band, that sappy ‘Chicken Soup‘ book, calling mumma up, or that movie that you’ve been watching since you were 8. These little things add up, you know.
  • Love yourself. Think of others who would be happy for you. Be happy for them. Nothing can counter a bad break-up like being happy. After that, you can look out for somebody that can make you happy. Don’t be scared to be out there again. You have become wiser and stronger than before, much more than bournvita can make you. You’ll be just fine. Take my word for it. :)

About - Swarna is a twelve-tentacled anthropomorphic squid who was born out of radioactive waste. She probably loves you, but you can't say for sure. She is also, unfortunately, trapped in the body of a boring 3rd year engineering student from MIT.

  • http://www.facebook.com/singhkanwar Kanwar Singh

    Unless you were planning on being sexist here which pretty much everyone usually is as it’s the girl that’s gonna be bawling post breakup, I’ve know enough guys who are torn after break ups.  Things like this should be more for both sexes if anything.  There are a million sites I’m sure dealing with how to tell a girl she’ll move on after a breakup (the guys are supposed to just say fuck it and move on and then they are called heartless).  This is exactly the type of stereotypes that we all seem to have to play along with.   I could tell true stories all enough women who messed up enough guys (and vice versa), but seriously stop with the girls getting over and the guy being a jerk. It’s seriously overdone. No offense intended but sexist posts like this really get me over the edge.

  • guest

    :)